Showing posts with label preachers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label preachers. Show all posts

Thursday, 22 October 2015

Preacher Selling 'Anointed Pens' to Pass Examinations

I vaguely recall having read about the House of Grace International Church at Machipisa Shopping Centre in Highfield, Zimbabwe back in September. At that time, a woman was being possessed by demons who were undermining her sexual attraction to her husband.
"I have a problem that is threatening my marriage. I cannot have sex with my husband because whenever he touches me, I sweat and faint. I won't even want anything to do with him during that moment," she said.

The troubled woman added that her husband has been acting strange since the problem started and is telling her to put her 'house' in order.
You see the trouble caused by demons? Apparently this was all because some traditional healer dude told her she could make all kinds of money if she did some rituals at a river, or something. However, it didn't have the intended effect and instead she decided to cheat on her husband and then she became a sex fiend.
Sheila added that she decided to cheat on her husband after the problem persisted to see if it would trail her and she was successful. She also confessed that she is very sex starved as well.

"It is difficult to live without sex. I then decided to cheat on my husband to see whether I would encounter the same problem but thing happened. I think the spirit only doesn't want me to have sex with my husband. The sangoma didn't tell me this. I would have turnd down the deal had I known," she said.
Luckily, Sheila met Prophet Sham Hungwe who went to her apartment and destroyed all her witch stuff and sprinkled some water on her. She's much better now. Halleluja!

Well now Sham is trying to reach out a helping hand to students! We're not talking about water here, we're talking about magic pens! These pens have been anointed or something and so they'll help you pass your exam! Although ballpoint pens can usually be gotten in bulk for a few cents each, I'm guessing that the anointing process must add additional overhead.
The pens which cost at least 15 cents were being sold for different amounts ranging between US$1 and US$20 depending on what you can afford.

Prophet Sham said those who are sitting for their exams only needed faith and the anointed pen to pass. “It is anointed and I declare passes when your children sit for exams; when you sit for your exams ,” he said.
His congregants, who can be seen regularly puking into buckets on the church's Facebook page, apparently scrambled to snatch up all the pens!
“They (pens) are said to work for anyone who is sitting for any test. My son is not very bright and I think this will help him. With the knowledge he has acquired and this pen from the man of God, I think it is going to work.”
It all sounds like a Sham to me.

(Image source)

Thursday, 12 March 2015

Pastor Convinced Katy Perry Is Totally In a Relationship With Satan

Katy Perry
I think I'm guilty of being a Katy Perry fan. Not so much for her music, although she does have a couple of good songs. It's her brilliant ability to drive Illuminati conspiracy theorists and fundamentalist Christian pastors into a crazed frenzy. It's like she's not even trying.
A Tennessee pastor branded popular singer Katy Perry a devil worshiping entertainer in a sermon Sunday and charged that she boasts "having a physical relationship with the devil" in her song "E.T." taken from her 2010 album Teenage Dream.
If you watch the video, it seems like she's just talking metaphorically about having fantastic freaky out of this world sex with someone. Or maybe it is the devil or aliens or something -- who cares? Well, pastor Charles Lawson of Temple Baptist Church in Knoxville totally cares.

"'Futuristic lover, different DNA, they don't understand you. You're from a whole 'nother world, a different dimension, you open my eyes. … And I'm ready to go, lead me into the light.' The light? Is not the Lord Jesus Christ the light?" he asked his church.

"That's not who she's talking about, but she says: 'Infect me with your love; fill me with your poison. Take me, take me, wanna' be a victim, ready for abduction. Boy, you're an alien; your touch so foreign it's supernatural, extraterrestrial.' And on she goes in praise and worship and singing to Satan," he charged.
However, Lawson doesn't only have a beef with Katy Perry for setting up the youth to accept the anti-Christ with no question. He's go ta problem with Beyonce, Lady Gaga, the Beatles and their hand-holding and satanic yellow submersibles.

So it turns out he just has a problem with pretty much anything that's not Laurence Welk.

Still, I find it immensely entertaining -- even more than the music, I think.

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Another Christian Preacher Thinks Ebola Is God's Wrath

Berean Baptist Church Pastor Pastor Ron Baity (source)
First, I posted about Rick Wiles, now Ron Baity.

What is going on? Why do these preachers spew such hateful nonsense and why do people sit in the pews and listen and presumably believe? I mean, I am obviously not a fan of religion but I generally believe that we're all human beings doing our best to make the world a better place. People like this guy really stretch this theory though, a lot.

NC pastor comes unglued over coming gay weddings: ‘You think Ebola is bad now, just wait!’

I mean, is this guy using ebola -- the suffering of thousands of innocent (and mostly not gay) people in Africa -- to prop up his own sick and twisted idea about what he his God thinks about LGBT people? How sick is that?
A Baptist pastor is warning that God will escalate the Ebola crisis when North Carolina begins performing same-sex marriages.

During his Sunday sermon following a series of court actions that effectively struck down North Carolina’s constitutional ban on marriage equality, Berean Baptist Church Pastor Pastor Ron Baity suggested that homosexuality was a sign of the End Times.
He worships this God? What kind of maniac would worship a being that murders whole populations of people because of what the Supreme Court did? Not that I disagree with the Supreme Court, but this fellow's apparent beliefs are the vilest thing I've come across in months.

And the fear-mongering, the targeting of a portion of the population, makes me extremely nervous.
“Listen, folks, it’s on,” he announced. “You might as well get ready for it. It’s on. It’s just a matter of time when they’re going to say to the churches… It’s just a matter of time before our constitution in our churches will be overturned like our state constitution just been overturned this week. I mean, it’s coming.”
In an almost incomprehensible rant he seems to compare gays and lesbians to cows slobbering each other.
“There was never a cow going around slobbering on another cow, sending a signal that I’m in love with this cow,” he said. “And when the bull got in the pasture, we didn’t have to give them a course in bullology or cowology. They had an inborn nature, they knew exactly and precisely what they needed to do to make sure that the Baity family had cows 20 years from now.”
Yes, he reduces human beings to cattle and base sexual nature. Perhaps this is his worldview -- sex. Maybe this is why he cannot seem to get over the basic fact of nature that a percentage of all animals, including people, are gay. They are attracted to those of the same gender by nature.  If he has a problem with this, he can take it up with his God.
“I would hate to think that two skunks in the backyard was smart than a judge that supposed to have studied the laws of the land,” Baity remarked. “Listen, we’re not getting wiser, we’re getting dumber! We’re not getting smarter. My friend, we are meriting, we are bringing the judgement of God on this nation as sure as Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed, don’t be surprised at the plagues. Don’t be surprised at the judgement of God.”
“You think Ebola is bad now, just wait. If it’s not that, it’s going to be something else. My friends, I want you to understand, you can’t thumb your nose at God, and God turn his head away without God getting your attention.”
Do people believe what this person says? How can they live with themselves? What sort of devilish dehumanization must go on within their minds to even allow this?

To think, Tony Perkins at the Family Research Council presented this man with the organization's highest honour in 2012, the very same year he described LGBT people as maggots.

What is wrong with these people?

Sunday, 28 September 2014

South African "Eat Grass" Pastor Now Urging Congregation To Drink Gasoline

Lead warning on a gas pump at Keeler's Korner, Lynnwood, Washington (built 1927). (source)
Remember Pastor Lesego Daniel of Rabboni Center Ministries? He's the South African preacher who urged his congregation to eat grass. That was pretty bad and, as far as I can remember, resulted in people vomiting copiously. Well, now things are worse and I think the police probably ought to be called. He's telling people to drink gasoline! This is no longer funny -- it's sick.
A video showing a controversial South African Christian pastor making members of his congregation drink petrol – which he said would turn into pineapple juice – has sparked a public outcry.
Is he just toying with people now to see how far they'll go? This is like some cruel test to see to what degree people can become completely deluded by blind faith.

Skip ahead to the seven minute mark. Things get completely messed up.

Read on, this man should be locked up.
Pastor Lesego Daniel of Rabboni Center Ministries, located north of capital Pretoria, can be seen in the video holding a bottle of petrol, which, he says, he had prayed for to turn into pineapple juice.

The video, which has gone viral online in recent days, shows Pastor Daniel first giving the petrol to one of his fellow preachers to test.

A female congregant then comes from the audience shaking and dancing, reaching out for the bottle in the pastor's hands.

"You want to drink pineapple juice?" Daniel asks her before giving her a sip of the petrol.

Then several other congregants come forward and drink from the same bottle.
So far, though, it seems that the authorities aren't doing anything at all to control this insanity. The above article quotes a dean of Theology who's pretty sure this isn't Biblical and that although the country's constitution guarantees freedom of religion, this freedom ends when people get harmed. Well, at least someone said that.

Two other people were quoted expressing their outraged, but unlike the dean, they remained anonymous.

Seems like nobody is challenging this pastor who is now clearly a danger to human life.

Sunday, 23 February 2014

Kenyan Preacher Charges "Processing Fee" to Know If You Will Go to Heaven

Helicopter of Christ Ministry in Kenya (source)
Yesterday, I waited in line with over 30 other people for one hour outside the local branch of the Société de l'assurance automobile du Québec, which is our equivalent to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Finally, the doors opened and I got to be one of the first to the wicket. What did I get in addition to the charge to renew my license? A nice processing fee.

Processing fees are a way of life, so I suppose it shouldn't come as a big surprise that a Kenyan preacher is now charging people around $13 Canadian to check up on their records in the Book of Life.

Only Sh1,000 'to know if you will go to heaven'
Pastor Thomas Wahome of Helicopter of Christ Church is charging his congregation Sh1,000 each to check whether anyone’s name is in the book of life. The pastor has for the past two weeks been charging the amount as thousands of followers flock to him to know if they will enter heaven.
I guess it's no worse than Church Indulgences. By which I mean, the Church was just as despicable as this.

I wonder if these results come with guarantees? I suppose you would have to check back with him periodically to make sure you're still in good standing?
“Send the money to this number, 07XX032000 (number concealed) and then come tomorrow at around 10 in the morning. The bishop will then tell you if your name is in the Book of Life,” she said.
Pastor Wahome is quite the spiritual entrepreneur who seems to believe he's the Second Coming. Last year, he charged people Sh1,200 to touch his clothing. He claimed this would heal people of their ailments.

Well, it will relieve people of their money.

Saturday, 2 March 2013

The Banana: Created By God To Be Ray Comfort's Worst Nightmare?

The first time I heard of Staks Rosch was on Stacy Transancos' Accepting Abundance, which is still, by far, my favourite Catholic blog ever.

Stacy was addressing Staks in her post Schooling an Atheist on Grammar, which I found so very delightfully irritating that I was forced to launch a series of posts in response.  I never did quite finish those because I promised to read some book about Catholic Theology and, well, I'll still reading it.

Staks returns into my little godless world to tell me all about how the banana is no longer the Atheist's Nightmare.  Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron declared this to be true some time ago and the video made its way to be infamous.  It gave Comfort the title Banana Man.  I know I always think of bananas when I see Ray, he is simply bananas.

Ray Comfort: Doesn’t like the ‘B-word’

'B' is for banana.

I personally don't care who Ray bans from his Facebook wall, as I have little desire to visit or read it.  Although he did recently declare war on atheism on his Facebook page - so I guess some monitoring is in order for intelligence purposes: monitoring troop movements etc.

Anyway, Staks sums up the irony rather well here.

Here, Comfort implies that he would ban atheists from his page if they even mention the fruit. While he of course has the right to ban whoever he wishes from his page without explanation, it is a little ironic that he has such a strong reaction to the thing that he claimed was an atheist’s nightmare.

Ironic indeed.  Maybe, if there is a God, He finds Ray and Kirk so annoying that he actually didn't create the banana specifically for us as humans to eat.  Perhaps the banana was specifically designed by God to become Ray's namesake, a fruity focal point of ridicule just to get back at Ray Comfort.

The banana is so perfectly suited to make Ray Comfort look ridiculous that I fear he'll have to admit it, God created it to make him look silly.  Maybe God has lost faith in himself long ago and has become an atheist and so passes his time creating yellow fruit in order to play an elaborate joke on Ray.  If I were a god I might do it.

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Ray Comfort Declares War! Ray Comfort-Facebook-Bots, Attack!

Ray Comfort and a banana.
Okay, that might be a wee bit hyperbolic.

I have a fondness for New Zealand although I've never been there.  But I actually have a couple of lamb shank steaks roasting with potatoes, rosemary and cherry tomatoes in the oven right this very minute!

Okay, so otherwise I know very little about New Zealand, but when it comes to down under, I mean, if you were to include Australia then I'll admit to having an ongoing crush on Natalie Tran.

It's too bad Ken Ham also comes from Australia, but I diverge.

Speaking of crazy yet highly entertaining preachers, Ray Comfort comes from New Zealand.  Like Australian Ken Ham, I think he's probably a nice enough guy, who I'd love to have a beer with but he is still pretty kooky.  He's kind of like that old guy you probably know who lives on your street and occasionally starts talking to you about weird stuff after you are silly enough to respond to his cordial greeting while you're in a hurry to get to the store.

Well his movie - 180 - pissed the hell out of me and apparently his Facebook has over 100,000 likes. Just imagine 100,000 people pushing the movie 180?

I'll admit, I could only get through about 10 minutes of it.  I'll try later, I promise.

Ray Rallies The Troops!  Are Any Of Us Safe?

This is no joke!  The battle has begun!  One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

"It suddenly dawned on me how Facebook is an incredible medium for the gospel. One of my posts was seen by 1.2 million people – many of whom are non-Christians," Comfort told The Christian Post via an email exchange. "Think of what it would cost and how much work it would take to have a Billy Graham-type crusade that reached 1.2 million people. But we can reach that many at no cost and with just a click of a keyboard button."
He added, "The average Christian can't stand on a soapbox at a university and preach, but he or she can now engage the unsaved and have their comment read by multiple people, all from the comfort of their own home. It means that a stay-at-home mom can reach out to the lost during a break from the kids. It means that those who are busy at work can reach the unsaved during their lunch breaks." 
Comfort, who has more than 105,000 people "liking" his "Ray Comfort" Facebook page, warns on his site that "YOU WILL BE BANNED FOR CUSSING OR BLASPHEMY."
Everyone man your stations.  Comfort-Bots could be headed your way.

Thursday, 10 January 2013

Now William Lane Craig Goes After Darwin The Dog!

Craig's gunning against Darwin the Dog - a danger to the
youth.  I can already imagine the upcoming debate.
Remember that Dallas preacher, Jim Denison, who went after the American Humanist Association for daring to put up a website for kids (Kids Without God) that promoted critical thinking and Humanist values?  For shame!  His video was funny.

Well now my least favourite apologist, William Lane Craig, is also picking on poor Darwin the Dog.

Just read  ATHEIST WEBSITE FOR CHILDREN HAS ONE-SIDED ARGUMENTS!  Don't worry, it's a brief plug for Craig's site article that's only a few short paragraphs long.

The whole criticism of the site is that it doesn't provide all-sided arguments on the basis of reality.  No, wait, I think it actually means Craig is annoyed it doesn't consider his own argument about the basis of reality - God did it.
The website promotes the virtues of critical thinking and scientific reflection on evidence claimed to disprove one's faith, but Craig notes that the site never examines critical arguments against atheism.
No, the site attempts to foster critical thinking and skepticism in general of everything. From the Kids Without God website Parents section:
The goal of this website is to encourage curiosity, critical thinking, and tolerance among young people, as well as to provide accurate information regarding a wide range of issues related to humanism, science, culture and history. 
We hope that you and your kids will enjoy reading about Darwin the Dog, who is committed to an uplifting, altruistic morality without the influence of religion; and who is able to enjoy mythology while still differentiating between the real and the imaginary.
You know, rather than just drilling dogma into the children's brains.
Craig says a child's views are not solidly formed enough to understand the false arguments, let alone be able to defend them, so they can be easily misled.  Craig believes an excellent website for arguments in defense of faith is
You know, like being easily brainwashed into believing ancient mythologies.  Because every other Christian children's site out there need not present the arguments against Christianity - but the only Humanist children's site out there... they ought to be presenting the arguments against their worldview.  Double standard stemming from a privileged Christian outlook?  I think so, yes.

Oh and is Craig's own website.  Nice self plug there.  Real classy. Well, I suppose I might be just as shameless peddling my own stuff... or maybe not.

I also find it amusing that both this story and the previous one never provided an actually link to the Kids Without God campaign website.  Heaven forbid someone actually click on it for themselves!

Saturday, 15 December 2012

Dallas Preacher Goes After Darwin the Dog

Looks like I've been wandering around Youtube again.  Last Monday, I found this video about the Office of Religious Freedoms.  Well, last night I found a video all about a new atheist strategy for children.

The video features Dr. Jim Denison, president of the Denison Forum on Truth and Culture.   He's got problems with the American Humanist Association's Kids Without God website (, which looks excellent by the way.  I recommend you visit it and show it to your kids!

The American Humanist Association (AHA) has launched a new initiative aimed at kids. Their website,, is "a site for the millions of young people around the world who have embraced science, rejected superstition, and are dedicated to being Good Without A God!"

The children's section introduces us to "Darwin" the dog. He "loves to enjoy stories from a long, long time ago." But he "also knows that these are just stories, though, and that they aren't real." There's a teens section, with videos that coach young people on becoming atheists and telling others about their decision. The parents section offers tips for "helping our kids become humanists."

Watch the video below and follow along!

This is a logical fallacy known as "affirming a disjunct," where we are erroneously told that if A is true, B must be false. 
What I find hilarious about this is all those arguments that go something like: "You can't prove the Big Bang was uncaused - therefore... God!" or "Evolution is a myth - therefore... God!" or "The Bible was right about this one thing - therefore... the Bible is true... therefore... God!"
Many are absolutely sure that absolute truth doesn't exist.
How clever!  Nobody can be absolutely sure of anything - except perhaps mathematical  truths.  Am I absolutely sure that absolute truth doesn't exist?  Well, it may exist (read: some math and logic).  Oh wait a minute, I know your game:  Absolute Truth... God!
How can Christians respond to this strategy aimed at children and young people? By offering what no non-Christian can: a genuine encounter with a loving God. 
Well, someone should search for this loving god, because he sure isn't in the Bible.  I'll pass on an encounter with the Christian god, thank you.
In my view, the rise of "aggressive atheism" is directly related to a decline of love for God in our churches.
Since when is having a website just for the children of Humanists agressive atheism?  How is this any more agressive than Christian sites for children of the same age?  Is the site's mere existence that threatens you, Mr Denison?  It's a real good symbol of the kind of Christian privilege that's been the status quo for so very long.  The mere notion of other groups expressing themselves on an equal footing is seen as strident, agressive or threatening.

So is atheism directly related to a decline of love for God in our churches.  Well, I can't fault his logic there.  Of course a direct rise of atheism in America would have a very profound effect on the love of God in the churches!
If more of us were in love with Jesus, fewer in the world would be led away from him.
Well, amen to that.  I think it's his crazy dad people are beginning to lose faith in.  But I suppose they're both the same thing anyway.

What a ringing endorsement for the site!  Thanks Mr Denison!

Why not visit this great site for kids and teens:

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Millionaire No More!

Note: This is a follow-up to a previous post where I describe the bill: If I Had A Million Dollars.

A few days ago I posted about the 1,000,000 dollar bill I found on the ground from Living WatersRay Comfort's crazy church.  I was seriously contemplating sending the bill to "help" Living Waters Canada, since their building burnt down on Ash Wednesday (Living Waters Canada Blog).  Now why did God go and let that happen?  Anyway, I gave the money to someone else!  A complete stranger, actually.

I threw my back out a couple of weeks ago and it's still giving me trouble.  So I was in a fair bit of pain going up the stairs of the subway station in my neighbourhood with a folded baby stroller in one hand and a squirmy two year old in the other.  At the top of the stairs, standing in front of the exit was some kind of street preacher yelling from a script and telling everyone who went by that we had no excuse for not attending 3pm Mass today.  Jesus died today at 3pm.

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