Showing posts with label orthodox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label orthodox. Show all posts

Friday, 6 November 2015

Two Tales of Orthodox Religion & Porn

Joanna Angel
It's Friday, so here's a couple of interesting stories about how pornography interacts with Orthodox religion.

Some good news is that Joanna Angel, one of the top 7 Jewish porn stars, has not been disowned by her Orthodox parents. Instead, they support her in her career choice.
“There were a few distant aunts, uncles and cousins who got angry at my mom and dad for not disowning me, but all it did was make us closer,” Angel told the newspaper, adding, “They were like: ‘Don’t tell us how to raise our daughter!’’”

In an interview last year with Vice, Angel (her original name is Mostov) told of growing up observant and attending Jewish day schools and summer camps. While she is no longer Orthodox, she told Vice she still fasts on Yom Kippur and avoids eating bread during Passover.
That's pretty cool of them - refusing to disown their daughter.

Meanwhile, the Russian Orthodox church is offering clean WiFi in its churches - without porn or any mention at all of homosexuality.
“We’re not planning to limit access to any internet resources, just delete everything that brings evil to people under the guise of goodness,” Bogdasarov said.

One thing that users won’t be able to access is any mention of homosexuality.

According to Alexei Protopopov, director of child-safe internet vendor Crystal Protection which is setting up the new network, only information that religious leaders decide does not “disturb believers’ feelings” will be accessible.

News articles that are “seamy” – such as those mentioning a “nontraditional sexual orientation” – will not be available over the Wi-Fi networks, Protopopov said.
Oh they're not planning to limit access to any internet resources! It's just that all this stuff is going to get deleted, that's all! Much of it isn't even porn, by the way - it's just a normal sexual orientation.

It's because the internet contains many threats to users, including recruitment materials for Christian sects and Islamic State, pornography and “distorted versions of history”.

Oh yes, time to block any distorted histories. Official State Church Sanctioned versions of history only please.

It's funny that people need this sort of filtering. Curiously, I'm able to browse the web at work for hours without running into any pornography at all.

(Image source)

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

More Unorthodox Cake Crushing Revelations

Things have been really hectic here. I was even thinking of scaling back my posting frequency because life's been so damned busy - then I realized that that's already happened sort of organically.

Usually, when things get critical, I'm reduced to very short posts about the most unusual or fantastic stuff I run into on the web. Well, this is not exception. Prepare yourself for tabloid quality fare.

Remember that the cake fetishist Greek Orthodox priest who had an affair with his Twinkie crushing (with her bum) - who was married, and not his wife? Well, it turns out that not only were they into some kinky cake crushing, but he also asked her to have an abortion. Or so she claims.
Ethel Bouzalas told Bishop Andonios Paropoulos, the chancellor of the Greek Orthodox church in the United States, that her lover wanted her to get an abortion, according to an interview with the bishop in The National Herald, a Greek-American daily.

But Andonios said Father George Passias denied he made the abortion request and said he wasn’t sure if the unborn child was his.

Abortion is against the teachings of the Greek Orthodox Church.
Listen, there was absolutely no baby-making here! Only good wholesome thong-wearing cake smothering between to married but not with each other consenting adults. Nothing to see here! Move on!

(Image source)

Thursday, 8 October 2015

Pomegranate Breasts, Forbidden Cakes, & Twinkie Kinks

Hey so we've all probably read about Mr "pomegranate boobs" Saudi cleric who's totally obsessed with all the steaming-hot-postmortem-heaven-sex that men just like him are gonna get in heaven just as soon as they die.

Haven't watched the video?  Go grok the thing over at Hemant Mehta's blog today. It's compelling stuff.

Sheikh Yahya Al-Jana doesn't want us to blow our chances at an eternity of hymen tearing in Heaven for some quickie business with mall harlots here on earth. Unlike me, I guess he's really into first time sex, potentially causing pain and bleeding with a woman who is unlikely to know what the hell she's doing. Not my cup of tea, personally, but I suppose Al-Jana isn't interested in what I have to say anyway.

He helpfully reminds us men (probably not lesbians) that unlike pious earthly men, most women are too slutty on earth to get to heaven - or even get a wiff of all that neverending virgin sexytime smell - what with shopping, tights, makeup and EVIL SOCIAL MEDIA. Yes, Al-Jana is one special dude.

Of course, if women don't make it to heaven then the resulting spectral sausage factory would turn any good heterosexual man's heaven into an utter Hell. Such would be the case if it weren't for the hundreds of never-sag-breasted supernatural auto-regenerating-hymen astral Barbarellas he'll need to plow through every morning before breakfast for the rest of time. Basically he's gonna get laid forever, he's been thinking about this quite a bit - I can tell.

My question is: What about cakes?

I'll remind you, dear readers, of the ancient Roman cheese-filled placenta cakes they used to cook up around Saturnalia every year.

There was also the Quran-shaped cake which a bunch of Turkish Quran students baked up for a local celebration there. They cut the cake and posted it on EVIL SOCIAL MEDIA and got into big big trouble with religious authorities there.

Then there was that birthday party - complete with cake!! - that Saudis broke up! Arrests were made because there was dancing.

Then there was the Nazi penis cake.

Well, now we've got a Greek Orthodox priest, George Passias, who got busted when someone found his secret sex tape. It featured cake porn
In one scene, the bearded cleric, wearing only a white T-shirt, watches his long-haired brunette lover plant her thong-clad bottom on a piece of banana bread wrapped in cellophane.

Bouzalas, wearing stiletto heels, oddly wiggles on the loaf until it is flattened — apparently a fetish known as “cake crush” or “cake sitting.”

I'll let you check out the video if you wish. To be honest, it seems perfectly harmless and I sort of applaud their kinky sex life - it's original and looks like he's really into it.

The problem is, he might just be a bit of a hypocrite. Because he's married... not to his pastry-smothering lover, Ethel Bouzalas, but to another woman. Oh, and Ethel is married too. So, they were both sort of cheating.

Not that I even have a problem with that. If you wish to have an open marriage and get kinky with (and even impregnate) your Twinkie squishing vixen, then fine. However, I'm pretty sure this is fairly verboten in his branch of Greek Orthodox religion.
A high-ranking Greek Orthodox priest starred in kinky sex tapes with his much-younger parish-school principal and was forced to resign after the affair — which he’d denied for years — was confirmed by church elders.
Apparently, there are also allegations of misdirection of funds meant for building repairs. In my opinion this is an even more serious charge. I mean, I just cannot keep a straight face about the cake. Likewise with the pomegranates.

(Image source)

Sunday, 23 August 2015

Orthodox Rabbi: If You Have A Smartphone, You're Not Allowed Here

A lot of people spend way too much time on their smartphones - myself included. So ultra-Orthodox Sephardi Chief Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef in Israel is taking action against this pernicious time wasting device. The editorial staff over at the Jerusalem Post brings us the goods.
Delivering his weekly sermon, as his late father did, on the haredi Kol Barama radio station, Yosef categorically barred smartphone users from leading prayers. Not those who use their smartphones during services, but anyone who has such a device. And Yosef’s prohibition is apparently linked to the long-standing haredi aversion to television sets.
That's right. It don't matter if you turn it off, or put it on vibration mode, or even airplane mode. If Rabbi finds out you've got an IPhone, you're out! Apparently, it's because it's the same as having a TV set in your pocket, and TVs are forbidden in this community - computers too.
In an echo of a recent episode among one ultra-Orthodox community in the UK that tried to ban mothers from driving their children to school (or anywhere else) on penalty of expulsion, the Council of Torah Sages of Agudat Yisrael, representing Israel’s haredi community, ruled that the children of smartphone users may not be accepted to schools.
Suffer the children. If mom or dad have a smartphone for whatever reason, then no education for you!

You might think it's all because of the porn. It's that, for sure, but there exist plenty of filtering software out there to deal with that for both your computer and your phone - I'll cover that in another post. According to the Post, it's the most revolutionary and important part of the Internet that bothers the Rabbi - free and open access to information, unfettered ideas.
The fears that motivate the rulings of these ultra-Orthodox Luddites are not generated by religious revulsion at the “abomination” of the pornography that is readily available online, but more ominously at the open access to the Internet and its unlimited, uncensored information. Haredi leaders appreciate as much as anyone the power of information, and they control access to it to keep their members in line in blissful ignorance of the outside world.
According to this opinion piece, at least. It's much worse than mere frustration with pornography online. It's a paranoid fear of challenges to orthodox dogma from both secular and non-Orthodox religious sources.

All the more reason for them to keep their phones. The article suggests that the ban on cigarettes and computers had only partial success, so here's hoping.

(Image source)

Monday, 17 August 2015

Violence Erupts Over Jerusalem Movie Complex Being Open Saturday

Remember when I posted about some Jerusalem Orthodox Jewish groups who were considering protesting a new movie theater complex being open on Saturday? Well, they did.
In two separate demonstrations in the capital’s religious neighborhoods of Romema and Mea Shearim, protesters clashed with police and Border Police officers over Sabbath movie screenings at the new YES Planet multiplex across town.

Clashes between security forces and the protesters erupted after young men began throwing stones. The protesters also blocked traffic and broke the windows of a building. Both protests took place in religious neighborhoods in northern Jerusalem, far from the cinema itself.
They're resorting to violence - like a bunch of brutal bullies - because a completely different neighbourhood will have theatres open on Saturdays. They don't need to go to them if they don't want to - they would need to drive to get there - but that's not good enough. If they are not allowed to watch movies on Saturday then nobody is allowed - even less Orthodox Jews and secular Israelis.
Earlier Friday, Israel Radio reported that flyers were plastered around Jerusalem’s religious neighborhoods, urging the ultra-Orthodox community to “stop this plague with all everything in our power.

“Shabbat in Jerusalem is in terrible danger, the city is being desolated,” the posters read.
It would seem like the only danger around there would be to be harassed and potentially injured if someone in a completely different part of Jerusalem wants to catch a Saturday movie.

The law is on the cinema's side. It's a longstanding tradition in the region to close businesses on the Shabbat but keep places of leisure open - like movie theater, so people can rest. Why can't people relax?

According to the Times of Israel, several arrests were made because members of the media were attacked by the protesters.

All of this over a 16 screen movie complex being open on Saturday. Apparently, such things are worth fisticuffs when religion runs the show.

(Image source)

Saturday, 15 August 2015

Haredi Groups Consider Protesting New Cinema Being Open Saturdays

So, whatcha doing Saturday? Want to watch a movie or something?


Next thing you'll be asking for is a cup of coffee on Saturday! Can't have that! Keep walking, because we don't wanna hear you whine about your caffeine headache.

Or maybe you'll want to pick up a nice outfit to wear on a premarital sitting-next-to-each-other-in-a-dark-room date with a human at the movie that's NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN? Well, forget that too! No fashionable retail outlet clothing for you on Saturday. That is, if we can help it.

It's nothing personal. It's just that God told us 3,000 years ago that we can't go to the movies on Saturday. Therefore, you cannot go to the movies on Saturday. See, it makes sense, right?

Stores in Jerusalem are apparently expected to be closed on the Shabbat, while places of leisure like movie theatres have historically been allowed to remain open. This however, hasn't stopped some haredi groups from considering protests anyway.
The Rabbinical Committee, however, includes among its ranks Rabbi Yosef Rosenfeld who represents the radical Eda Haredit communal organization, which has in the past protested vehemently and violently against what the group describes as “mass desecration of the Shabbat” in Jerusalem, including the bitter fight over the Karta parking lot just outside the Old City.
Yes, people other than them watching a movie is mass destruction - total obliteration.

If the various groups do plan to protest on a Saturday, they will likely not do it at the cinema itself - because it's too far away from major haredi populations. As I mentioned in the last story about a protest, these groups do not drive on the Shabbat.
The rabbi told The Jerusalem Post that preparations are already underway to conduct such protests and said that he expected a demonstration this coming Shabbat. Rosenfeld noted, however, that any demonstrations would likely not take place outside Yes Planet itself, since it is a considerable distance from the haredi neighborhoods where Eda Haredit’s followers reside.
So, they don't even live in the community with this theatre. They're protesting the opening of a cinema in a completely different neighbourhood. It's so heartwarming to see their concern for their fellow man - victim to having the option to watch a movie on a Saturday night. Such charity is rare in this day.
Asked whether or not the holiness of Jerusalem extended to the new parts of the city without haredi or religious communities, Rosenfeld argued that Jerusalem was the “place of the sanctuary,” a reference to the two ancient Jewish temples that stood on the Temple Mount, and said that this holiness was projected and conferred upon the rest of the city.
It's like they think they own the place or something. It turns out, though, that what we have here is an out of control holiness leak that's just spreading all over Jerusalem and surrounding area completely unchecked. As soon as the holiness comes into contact with cafes or movie theatres, they must be shut on Saturdays.

Instead of just not watching the movies - most of which are utter crap, I assure you - some are considering to protest not on the Shabbat, so they can get to the actual theatre.

When challenged with the fact that theatres have been allowed to be open on the Shabbat for ages, Rabbi Yosef Rosenfeld let us know that it's all about capacity. It's the sixteen screens - it's just too many screens, okay?
Rosenfeld acknowledged that cinemas have been open on the Shabbat in Jerusalem for many years, but said that the size and scale of the 16-screen Yes Planet complex was a change to the status quo that he did not consider acceptable.
Well at least his reasoning isn't just some completely arbitrary judgement call.

It's unexpected that the protests will get them anywhere.  Perhaps it will be further entertainment to movie goers.

(Image source)

Saturday, 4 July 2015

Ultra Conservative Muslim 'Faceless' Dolls Are Scary As Hell

Aisha dolls. (source)
Call me old fashioned, but I really prefer my dolls to have eyes, a nose and a mouth. So did Tom Hanks' character in the movie Castaway. He painted a crude face on a soccer ball and called it Wilson.

Some months ago, I came across the website Aisha Dolls. Aisha is the little 9 (or 10!) year old girl, with whom a 53 year old Mohammed consummated their marriage. The Hadith apparently makes a point of specifying that the marriage actually took place when she was 6 or 7, but Mohammed patiently waited until she was nine or ten before doing the deed. What a considerate guy.
Aisha Dolls was the first of its kind on the market. Aisha Dolls are faceless, wearing modest/Islamic clothing, soft to cuddle and play friendly. Aisha Dolls cater for Islamic values, and are made with quality and imaginative play in mind, all very important aspects of every Muslim child’s life and upbringing. Aisha Dolls also offer multicultural dolls with different skin colours, reflecting our Muslim community.
The name of Aisha Dolls says it all. I was inspired by the hadith describing how Aisha (may Allaah be pleased with her) used to play with dolls which had no facial features in the presence of the Prophet (Salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa salam). Having children of my own, I noticed that there was no company offering faceless dolls specifically for the Muslims. To begin with I made dolls for my own children, thereafter I saw other Muslim families’ need for this toy. I decided to create my own models and the idea for Aisha Dolls was born, the first company offering dolls of this kind to the Muslim community.
There's something deeply odd to me about giving a child a doll with no recognizably human facial features. I just can't put my finger on it. Happily, a Professor of Muslim Societies, Fawaz Gerges, has pointed out that the majority of Muslims out there are just as creeped out by this as me.
‘The doll is a gimmick, an ultra-conservative interpretation,’ he told Mail Online.

He added: ‘It is a very isolated phenomenon and with all due respect I imagine it would only appeal to a very tiny group.’
A similar project, the Deeni Doll -- which Gerges is above referencing -- was launched in the UK last year by a former Muslim school teacher, after some parents were expressing concern that their daughters' dolls looked human.
"I came up with the idea from scratch after speaking to some parents who were a little concerned about dolls with facial features," she said.

"Some parents won't leave the doll with their children at night because you are not allowed to have any eyes in the room.
Isn't it amazing? Eyeless, faceless dolls would scare the bejeebies out of me in a dark bedroom.

This all boils down to aniconism where you're not allowed to have any depiction of animals (humans or otherwise) in sculpture, art, etc. So much for the Venus de Milo. So much for GI Joe.

The Aisha Dolls website was actually sent to me by Toronto Pakistani sex and religion blogger, Eiynah Nice Mangos. I had originally found these cartoon depictions of people on Jamaican-born Canadian Muslim television personality Bilal Philips Facebook page. She sent me the page to point out that they're faceless for a reason and that it's the real deal for some Muslims out there.

Look ma! No eyes!

2015-07-05: Correction, Hadith not Quran mention Aisha's age.

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