|Real bagels are Montreal bagels - not like those boring ear totally fake New York bagels.|
Here's the best part! It's a food analogy about bagels!
The cleric told the attendees how he often explains gay sex to junior high students, the Advocate reports.Do you want to go there? You might be surprised.
He said he tells them: "What if I just rip open a bagel, I take it, and I cram it in my ear. What would you say?”
He added that when they respond “That doesn’t go there,” he says, “Exactly" and that doing so “will ruin your ear canal.”Wow! Nice one, John! I know I feel the urge sometimes to stick an oven baked sour cream and bacon potato up my nose. All this time, I thought that so long as I did it in bed - just the two of us... no threesomes with steak or chicken - ALSO with proper precautions, it was okay with God - but I was wrong! It just doesn't go there. Thanks for clearing that one up.
I'm guessing he felt too icky just telling the boys what he apparently meant. I mean, they have by now probably discovered what their penises are and how they work. I'd wager the girls in the room - if there were any - also at least had a pretty good idea what penises are. I'm guessing they could have even cleared up a few obvious misunderstandings Mr. Riccardo may have. He seems a little confused or something.
As usual, there seems to be precious little guidance for lesbians in this room. These religious types just never think of them having sex outside of the baby making, I guess.
So for them, let's say the bagel is actually correctly going into the mouth but the bagel is actually made of silicone and is pink or maybe violet? Perhaps it takes 2 AA batteries and vibrates? Help me out here, Father!
[Fortunate Families] member Tom Nelson said from a protest outside the controversial event: “It’s medieval times all over again. ... If God created people gay, then gay sex seems to be a natural thing.”He's just coming to that realization now? Tom, the Catholic Church is more medieval (and secretly fabulous) than a renaissance fair.
Mr. Nelson is totally right about gay sex being perfectly natural though. There sure does seem to be rather a lot of unnatural about priest chastity and attitudes towards sex within the Catholic Church, though. Plenty of illegal child rape problems too.
Yes, his bagel analogy is really rather bizarre and unnatural. Utterly ridiculous, actually. It would be completely hilarious if it weren't probably fucking up young religious LGBT students - potentially for life.