Monday, 3 March 2014

All Panties and Bras Banned In Church By Kenyan Pastor - To Give God "Easy Access"

(source)
Hey Ladies! So, have you ever gone over to someone's house and they take your coat and hang it in the closet? Then they might ask you to take off your shoes while walking inside their house. It all may seem pretty natural until they ask you whether or not you're wearing panties and a bra and remove them if you have them, so they can enter your body more easily. A little awkward, maybe? I'm assuming that unless you have some kind of close relationship with this person, it could really be a little unnatural.

So what if the doorman is a creepy pastor and you're visiting God's house!

Okay, this is funny and creepy on several levels.

Kenyan pastor tells women to attend church without underwear so God enters them
Nairobi pastor Reverend Njohi has introduced a form of worship at his Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in which female members of the congregation are banned from wearing underwear so God can enter their bodies easily.
I guess Mother Mary slept au naturel? What kind of deity cannot get past underwear? Surely Zeus had no problem with these things.

And what if these women don't want to be molested by Yahweh?

The good pastor told congregants that people needed to free their bodies to receive the spirit of Christ. Oddly, the men were not required to go to service commando style. Funny how this was overlooked.
Describing the wearing of underwear to church by women as ungodly, Reverend Njohi warned his members of dire consequences if they secretly did so.
He even advised all mothers to ensure their daughters hadn't sneaked on a pair of skivvies.

So... creepy... so... creepy...

After this, the story becomes a bit muddled. It seems like some of the congregants got understandably upset and forced one of the pastors to unlock the church. They proceeded to vandalize it.

Short story: This pastor is a creepy pervert and clearly men of god in Kenya have way too much influence.

2014-03-04 Editor's Note: I've had people point out that the title was inaccurate. I hope it's better now. Titles are the hardest to come up with. I changed 'All Panties and Bras Outlawed By Kenyan Pastor - To Give God "Easy Access"' to "All Panties and Bras Banned In Church By Kenyan Pastor - To Give God "Easy Access"'

3 comments:

  1. > Short story: This pastor is a creepy pervert and clearly men of god in Kenya have way too much influence.

    ... and clearly men of god everywhere have way too much influence.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is seriously one of the creepier stories I have seen in a while. I am guessing the next step for this pastor was sex favors of some sort.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This gives me bad, bad chills...and I thought the Mormons had an unnatural obsession with underwear!

    ReplyDelete

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