Sunday, 1 December 2013

Heathens Greetings from Manitoba Conservative Leader Brian Pallister!

Christmas 1875 - Canadian magazine cover - sans Jesus.
Oh, hello Leader of the Progressive Conservative Party of Manitoba, Brian Pallister!

Bought all your presents yet? Did you get the stocking stuffers? Turkey or ham this year?

Tree decorated yet? Are you going with flashing colourful lights or tasteful monochromatic non-blinking lights?

All these lights sure do make the bleak December darkness more bearable, right? We're past the worst of it now. Only brighter from here! Isn't that a relief!

I don't know if you have kids or not, but I hope they've gone to see the parade and have gotten a chance to sit on old Santa's knee.

Can't wait to see their eyes light up when they look into their stockings in the morning? I sure can't. It's as if I relive the best parts of my childhood every time I see my own son shudder with delight at the prospect of Christmas.

Or should I call it Yule? Got the Yule log burning this year? I like to have German Marzipankartoffeln during the holidays. I look forward to it all year long.

Do you have family coming over? Got some baking to do with them perhaps - with maybe a little Bing Crosby playing in the background? Aren't the holidays fantastic? The food, the friends, the warmth and togetherness.

What's that? I'm celebrating nothing? Oh, it's because I didn't mention Mithras' birthday? Saturnalia? Okay, sorry! Just kidding! Yes, I have a creche right there next to the toy railroad.

Hey, why not have a little nutmeg in your eggnog? Or I could pass you this clove orange so long as you promise to chew the clove first - wink wink.

My goodness, did you know the mistletoe is directly above you?

My apologies to my Christian friends. I was only poking a little fun at the politician man! He started out sort of sincere and funny, but maybe he started worrying about what his pastor might think.

People have different reasons for celebrating the season. And really now, no reasons are needed to celebrate -- ever.

8 comments:

  1. Oh Godless, this is so good. You've made my day.

    Veronica

    ReplyDelete
  2. I always thought, since I found out about the widespread child rape-culture in the Church, that the 3rd "secret" of Fatima (that was SOOOO TERRIBLE! eek!) was the fact that Church officials were helping pedophiles get away with mass rape/molestation. The Church held on to it for a long time, well, for the same reason that they've fought against every single public allegation like an angry raccoon. They're REALLY afraid that (more) people will stop attending church, and more importantly than that--stop GIVING to the church.


    they seem to be doubling down on the cultish craziness, though. Now they've changed one of the Mass responses, so anyone who left the Church during the initial wave of pedo scandals will stick out to the "faithful" ("and also with you", has changed to "and with your spirit", in response to "peace be with you") that one's subtle, but effective.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks Veronica! I'll keep track of him in case he says anything else I can have some real fun with!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for your comment! I follow you up to the second paragraph.


    To be honest, most of my youth was spent listening to the mass in Latin and reading the responses from a book. The first time I saw a book with a parallel English translation on the side I nearly flipped out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes but it is the Christians who are mocked and persecuted. Can you imagine if an Atheist MP got up and said, "All you...bible thumping Christians, whatever you celebrate, I celebrate family and giving, but if you want to celebrate the birth of some mythical Jesus baby...all the best." The Zealots would have a field day! So condescending.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I must confess that I would personally love it if an MP did that. Now, I'm not saying it would be right or decent or nice to do... but you know... I'm human.


    And I honestly think that depending on where he/she was running they might get away with it. I wonder if that would be considered hate crime?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wouldn't fly here in Canada's bible belt of Calgary :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've only been in Calgary once. I think that atheist humanist groups thrive there in reaction to the insanity around you.

    ReplyDelete