Wednesday, 4 April 2012

If I Had A Million Dollars

Last night I went to my fridge to get some soy milk for my coffee (lactose doesn't agree with me) and I noticed a 1,000,000 dollar bill fridge-magneted to the door with all the other stuff.  I had put it there last summer after I found it while walking in the park near the river at the bottom of our street.  Young Christians were wandering the park with big grins on their faces passing them around.

It's a really clever marketing tool.  Money on the ground catches everyone's eye.  Perhaps we need some non-theist versions of this.

After I got the bill, I checked on the Internet and quickly found American versions, but I haven't found many images of the Canadian versions anywhere on the Web.  So I thought I'd post it here on my blog as a curiosity.  It's a pretty good likeness of Canadian currency and, well, I find Christian tracts to be amusing.  Haven't run into any Muslim tracts, yet.

On the front of the bill, on top of CANADA is written DOMINION OF CANADA 1867.  Canada hasn't been a dominion in a long time.  It also features THIS BILL IS NOT LEGAL TENDER in both French and English.  I'm having a hard time figuring out who the person pictured on the bill is.  Nor do I know who the signature on the lower left belongs to specifically, but their title is GOUVERNEUR DE ETERNAL AFFAIRS which is some kind of strange hybrid between English and French.  Perhaps that's supposed to be God?  The signature on the lower right appears to be Mr or Ms graphics.com, the SOUS-GOVERNEUR DE ART. More bad French.

There is a clever little crest in the upper middle quadrant with the letters W D J D (What Did Jesus Do?) and the saying THOU SHALL NOT STEAL. Very cute.

The reverse side features s picture of the Toronto skyline along with the Snowbirds flying in formation.

The serial number on the bill is clever JHN316777 is a reference to John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. No escaping that Bible verse, it's everywhere.  I don't know what the 777 is for.  Good luck?

The real meat of the message - which was really the least fun bit of this piece of art for me - makes the rest of the production look clever.  They really do cram a lot around the edges.

The million-dollar question: Will you go to Heaven?  Here's a quick test.  Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God's name in vain?  Jesus said, "Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  Have you looked with lust?  Will you be guilty on Judgement Day?  If you have done those things, God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous, adulterer-at-heart.  The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell.  That's not God's will.  He sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for you.  Jesus took you punishment upon Himself:  "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."  Then He rose from the dead and defeated death.  Please, repent (turn from sin) today and trust in Jesus, and God will grant you everlasting life.  Then read your Bible daily and obey it.  www.livingwaters.com
Yes, it's my good friends at Living Waters.  I thought the arguments sounded familiar.  They're pretty much identical to the ones I got from their Are You A Good Person? tract back in January.  Pretty much all the arguments encountered here I respond to in that post.

Incidentally, Living Waters is the ministry of banana-wielding Ray Comfort and faithful once faithful atheist lackey Kirk Cameron from the amusing Growing Pains, cheesy Fireproof and abysmal Left Behind movies.  It turns out that back in 2006 the US Secret Service raided Living Waters and confiscated all of their fake money because some less-than-bright person in North Carolina tried to deposit it into her account (Wikipedia).

Sadly the Canadian headquarters for Living Waters was seriously damaged in a fire.  I am sincere when I say that I hope this wasn't foul play.  But I can't help but mention that it could have also been an Act of God, or foul play of a foul god.  Of course, God would never do something like that - unless he doesn't like the organization - or maybe because he doesn't exist.   But, Lord be praised(!), they were able to salvage all the files off one of their computers.  They thank everyone for continuing to pray...  I suppose it could have been worse, but hey, their freaking building burnt down.

Google Image search is amazing.  I put the image in and got back this reference to a similar bill that's identical other than CANADA EH on the front.  I guess some Canadians find this offensive?  It's dated 2006, one year before this bill.

At least you can buy stuff with 
Canadian Tire Money which features
Sandy McTire.
Although this bill is amusing, Canadian Tire money is infinitely more useful - in that it's actually worth something.  Our family likes to save this up and wait for the small summer fair to come to town.  Although I think it's strongly frowned upon by the heads of the fair, the carnies will take Canadian Tire money at par -- looking side to side as they let you on the ride or let you play the game.

I think it would be amusing to print out some Atheist/Freethinker versions of this and leave them around.  But would this backfire and piss people off?  I'd be interested in any feedback you all may have.

Editor's Note: I just gave the bill away to a street preacher.  Read about it here.




1 comment:

  1. Canada is actually still a dominion, we just don't tend to mention it any more.

    The 777 is the fundamentalists' answer to 666.

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